8 Ways to disrupt an acoustic concert.

After sitting through a high school band and choir concert, I have fresh, effective, guaranteed ways to make such events miserable.

1. “I listened to your child; why do you leave before mine performs?”

2. “Your cell phone? It’s out of tune (with the band that is currently playing softly).

3. “They are singing. Right now. Why are you walking in and out?”

4. “I’m enjoying listening to your conversation, but I’d really rather hear the concert right this moment.”

5. “I know you liked that vocal solo, but if you wait until the end of the piece to clap, we can actually hear the choir sing.”

6. “If you were to wait an eighth of a second, the start of the music will distract us from your departure from the front row.”

7. “The first time that round candy rolled from the back row to the front, it was a mistake. The second time? The third time?”

8. “We should make a list of…..wait. nevermind.”

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Others in the 8 ways series:

To lose your faith
To make yourself angry
To make yourself jealous
To make yourself depressed
To ruin your marriage

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