why don’t they get it.

It isn’t a new question.

We have been asking, “Why don’t they get it?” forever.

Almost forever, anyway.

Ever since there were two people, since social media options included face-to-face and nothing, someone has thought about someone else, “Why don’t they get it?”

(Whether “it” equals social media or community or my plan to make you rich (and me, too), the principle seems the same:)

The only way “they” have ever gotten it, in a life-transforming, behavior-altering, long-term-money-generating way, is when we think of “us” as if we were “them”.

The ability to express “me” is fun. But until “we” express “them”, why should they care?

I mean, as a conversationalist, we will be as interactive as a cymbal if we don’t listen.

Think about it: “We” could tell “them” everything about the future, but if they think we don’t care about “them”, “they” won’t trust it (or us).

We could be the best social philanthropists, but if it is all about our reputation instead of the lives of others, there is no point.

So how would it work to see from their side?

• They will get it (enough to make it their own) only when we are patient with their objections and tentativeness.
• And most of the time, it really helps to be kind.
• If we are jealous of what they have already, why should they trust whatever alternatives we offer them?
• Or we’re looking primarily for what we will get out of it rather than what they will get, they are going to look to some other “we”, some other way.
• On the other hand, we may actually be the best, but our boasting, our pride, will push them away more than invite them closer.
• In fact, our very rudeness gets in the way of them getting it (in most places anyway) and if we get angry easily about their questions or their behavior, if we take their criticism personally and respond the same way, if we keep track of every little misstep “they” take, we will make no progress.
• In order for them to get it, we’ve got to respect them, expect their best, trust them.

They will get it if we are less consumed with them getting us, and more concerned with us getting them.

It’s about love, after all.

—

This was my chapter in The Age of Conversation 2: Why Don’t They Get It? I realized that I can share it here now. But you can still buy the book. (Of course, the link is an affiliate link). And yes, I do acknowledge a debt to Paul.

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A few of my friends, just talking.

In early May this year, I saw some old friends for the first time face -to-face. We sat around tables at the top of the Summit in Chicago. We were supposed to be talking about how to become better bloggers. But we were all amused and amazed to be in the same geography, talking in real time.

Though we had never seen each other, we started talking in the middle of the conversation. We had been enmeshed in conversations for a long time. I had worked on a fabulous podcast Becky McCray created. I had contributed to Joanna Young‘s wonderful writing blog. Thomas Knoll worked with me on a group Lent blog. Chris Cree and I had written to each other. I had contributed to Robert Hruzek‘s great “What I learned from” series. And now we saw each other at Liz’s place.

This kind of conversation that starts and grows and deepens long before you meet face-to-face is at the heart of a new book about conversation. Today marks the publication of the Age of Conversation 2, one book with 237 authors. I’m one of the authors who contributed four hundred words. And so are the people I met in May. And so are Connie Reece, who was part of the same Lent blog and Cathleen Rittereiser who I met in NYC last year and lots of other people I haven’t met yet.

The book will be available for purchase here starting at 8:00am today (Wednesday). 100% of profits will be donated to Variety, the Children’s Charity. (We all agreed to that.)  You can buy it in downloadable e-book ($12.50), softcover ($19.95) and hardcover ($29.95). The e-book sends the most to Variety.

Here’s an important note. I don’t know whether I agree with everything my co-authors wrote. Some of them will disagree with me. But that’s what conversation is about.

I’ll write more about what’s in the book when I actually get my copy. Today.

And then the conversation will continue.

—————–

Here are all of the writers who are part of this project.

Adrian Ho, Aki Spicer,Alex Henault,Amy Jussel,Andrew Odom,Andy Nulman,Andy Sernovitz,Andy Whitlock,
Angela Maiers, Ann Handley, Anna Farmery, Armando Alves, Arun Rajagopal, Asi Sharabi, Becky Carroll, Becky McCray, Bernie Scheffler, Bill Gammell, Bob LeDrew, Brad Shorr, Brandon Murphy, Branislav Peric, Brent Dixon, Brett Macfarlane, Brian Reich, C.C. Chapman, Cam Beck, Casper Willer, Cathleen Rittereiser, Cathryn Hrudicka, Cedric Giorgi, Charles Sipe, Chris Kieff, Chris Cree, Chris Wilson, Christina Kerley (CK), C.B. Whittemore, Chris Brown, Connie Bensen, Connie Reece, Corentin Monot, Craig Wilson, Daniel Honigman, Dan Schawbel, Dan Sitter, Daria Radota Rasmussen, Darren Herman, Dave Davison, David Armano, David Berkowitz, David Koopmans, David Meerman Scott, David Petherick, David Reich, David Weinfeld, David Zinger, Deanna Gernert, Deborah Brown, Dennis Price, Derrick Kwa, Dino Demopoulos, Doug Haslam, Doug Meacham, Doug Mitchell, Douglas Hanna, Douglas Karr, Drew McLellan, Duane Brown, Dustin Jacobsen, Dylan Viner, Ed Brenegar, Ed Cotton, Efrain Mendicuti, Ellen Weber, Eric Peterson, Eric Nehrlich, Ernie Mosteller, Faris Yakob, Fernanda Romano, Francis Anderson, Gareth Kay,Gary Cohen, Gaurav Mishra, Gavin Heaton, Geert Desager, George Jenkins, G.L. Hoffman, Gianandrea Facchini, Gordon Whitehead, Greg Verdino, Gretel Going & Kathryn Fleming, Hillel Cooperman, Hugh Weber, J. Erik Potter, James Gordon-Macintosh, Jamey Shiels, Jasmin Tragas, Jason Oke, Jay Ehret, Jeanne Dininni, Jeff De Cagna, Jeff Gwynne & Todd Cabral, Jeff Noble, Jeff Wallace, Jennifer Warwick, Jenny Meade, Jeremy Fuksa, Jeremy Heilpern, Jeroen Verkroost, Jessica Hagy, Joanna Young, Joe Pulizzi, John Herrington, John Moore, John Rosen, John Todor, Jon Burg, Jon Swanson, Jonathan Trenn, Jordan Behan, Julie Fleischer, Justin Foster, Karl Turley, Kate Trgovac, Katie Chatfield, Katie Konrath, Kenny Lauer, Keri Willenborg, Kevin Jessop, Kristin Gorski, Lewis Green, Lois Kelly, Lori Magno, Louise Manning, Luc Debaisieux, Mario Vellandi, Mark Blair, Mark Earls, Mark Goren, Mark Hancock, Mark Lewis, Mark McGuinness, Matt Dickman, Matt J. McDonald, Matt Moore, Michael Karnjanaprakorn, Michelle Lamar, Mike Arauz, Mike McAllen, Mike Sansone, Mitch Joel, Neil Perkin, Nettie Hartsock, Nick Rice, Oleksandr Skorokhod, Ozgur Alaz, Paul Chaney, Paul Hebert, Paul Isakson, Paul McEnany, Paul Tedesco, Paul Williams, Pet Campbell, Pete Deutschman, Peter Corbett, Phil Gerbyshak, Phil Lewis, Phil Soden, Piet Wulleman, Rachel Steiner, Sreeraj Menon, Reginald Adkins, Richard Huntington, Rishi Desai, Robert Hruzek, Roberta Rosenberg, Robyn McMaster, Roger von Oech, Rohit Bhargava, Ron Shevlin, Ryan Barrett, Ryan Karpeles, Ryan Rasmussen, Sam Huleatt, Sandy Renshaw, Scott Goodson, Scott Monty, Scott Townsend, Scott White, Sean Howard, Sean Scott, Seni Thomas, Seth Gaffney, Shama Hyder, Sheila Scarborough, Sheryl Steadman, Simon Payn, Sonia Simone, Spike Jones, Stanley Johnson, Stephen Collins, Stephen Landau, Stephen Smith, Steve Bannister, Steve Hardy, Steve Portigal, Steve Roesler, Steven Verbruggen, Steve Woodruff, Sue Edworthy, Susan Bird, Susan Gunelius, Susan Heywood, Tammy Lenski, Terrell Meek, Thomas Clifford, Thomas Knoll, Tim Brunelle, Tim Connor, Tim Jackson, Tim Mannveille, Tim Tyler, Timothy Johnson, Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Toby Bloomberg, Todd Andrlik, Troy Rutter, Troy Worman, Uwe Hook, Valeria Maltoni, Vandana Ahuja, Vanessa DiMauro, Veronique Rabuteau, Wayne Buckhanan, William Azaroff, Yves Van Landeghem

Talking together.

Books have been part of my life as far back as I can remember. However, apart from the one I wrote (also known as my dissertation), although books have been part of me, I haven’t been part of a book.

Until today.

(Okay, technically yesterday, because I submitted a day early.)

I’m one of the 275 authors of Age of Conversation II. A bunch of amazing people, and me, have talked about social media and conversation and why people aren’t getting it, aren’t part of if.

Apparently, we’re starting to post snippets of our chapters. It’s a grea idea, actually, since the book won’t be out until the fall. So,, to give you a taste of my manifesto, here you are:

“They” will get it
if we are less consumed with them getting us,
and more concerned with us getting them.

You’ll have to tune in later for the rest of the story. In the meantime, you can spend the next few months visiting with my co-authors.

——————–

“Age of Conversation 2 – Why Don’t People Get It?” Authors:

Adam Crowe, Adrian Ho, Aki Spicer, Alex Henault, Amy Jussel, Andrew Odom, Andy Nulman, Andy Sernovitz, Andy Whitlock, Angela Maiers, Ann Handley, Anna Farmery, Armando Alves, Arun Rajagopal, Asi Sharabi, Becky Carroll, Becky McCray, Bernie Scheffler, Bill Gammell, Bob Carlton, Bob LeDrew, Brad Shorr, Bradley Spitzer, Brandon Murphy, Branislav Peric, Brent Dixon, Brett Macfarlane, Brian Reich, C.C. Chapman, Cam Beck, Casper Willer, Cathleen Rittereiser, Cathryn Hrudicka, Cedric Giorgi, Charles Sipe, Chris Kieff, Chris Cree, Chris Wilson, Christina Kerley (CK), C.B. Whittemore, Clay Parker Jones, Chris Brown, Colin McKay, Connie Bensen, Connie Reece, Cord Silverstein, Corentin Monot, Craig Wilson, Daniel Honigman, Dan Goldstein, Dan Schawbel, Dana VanDen Heuvel, Dan Sitter, Daria Radota Rasmussen, Darren Herman, Darryl Patterson, Dave Davison, Dave Origano, David Armano, David Bausola, David Berkowitz, David Brazeal, David Koopmans, David Meerman Scott, David Petherick, David Reich, David Weinfeld, David Zinger, Deanna Gernert, Deborah Brown, Dennis Price, Derrick Kwa, Dino Demopoulos, Doug Haslam, Doug Meacham, Doug Mitchell, Douglas Hanna, Douglas Karr, Drew McLellan, Duane Brown, Dustin Jacobsen, Dylan Viner, Ed Brenegar, Ed Cotton, Efrain Mendicuti, Ellen Weber, Emily Reed, Eric Peterson, Eric Nehrlich, Ernie Mosteller, Faris Yakob, Fernanda Romano, Francis Anderson, G. Kofi Annan, Gareth Kay, Gary Cohen, Gaurav Mishra, Gavin Heaton, Geert Desager, George Jenkins, G.L. Hoffman, Gianandrea Facchini, Gordon Whitehead, Graham Hill, Greg Verdino, Gretel Going & Kathryn Fleming, Hillel Cooperman, Hugh Weber, J. Erik Potter, J.C. Hutchins, James Gordon-Macintosh, Jamey Shiels, Jasmin Tragas, Jason Oke, Jay Ehret, Jeanne Dininni, Jeff De Cagna, Jeff Gwynne, Jeff Noble, Jeff Wallace, Jennifer Warwick, Jenny Meade, Jeremy Fuksa, Jeremy Heilpern, Jeremy Middleton, Jeroen Verkroost, Jessica Hagy, Joanna Young, Joe Pulizzi, Joe Talbott, John Herrington, John Jantsch, John Moore, John Rosen, John Todor, Jon Burg, Jon Swanson, Jonathan Trenn, Jordan Behan, Julie Fleischer, Justin Flowers, Justin Foster, Karl Turley, Kate Trgovac, Katie Chatfield, Katie Konrath, Kenny Lauer, Keri Willenborg, Kevin Jessop, Kris Hoet, Krishna De, Kristin Gorski, Laura Fitton, Laurence Helene Borei, Lewis Green, Lois Kelly, Lori Magno, Louise Barnes-Johnston, Louise Mangan, Louise Manning, Luc Debaisieux, Marcus Brown, Mario Vellandi, Mark Blair, Mark Earls, Mark Goren, Mark Hancock, Mark Lewis, Mark McGuinness, Mark McSpadden, Matt Dickman, Matt J. McDonald, Matt Moore, Michael Hawkins, Michael Karnjanaprakorn, Michelle Lamar, Mike Arauz, Mike McAllen, Mike Sansone, Mitch Joel, Monica Wright, Nathan Gilliatt, Nathan Snell, Neil Perkin, Nettie Hartsock, Nick Rice, Oleksandr Skorokhod, Ozgur Alaz, Paul Chaney, Paul Hebert, Paul Isakson, Paul Marobella, Paul McEnany, Paul Tedesco, Paul Williams, Pet Campbell, Pete Deutschman, Peter Corbett, Phil Gerbyshak, Phil Lewis, Phil Soden, Piet Wulleman, Rachel Steiner, Sreeraj Menon, Reginald Adkins, Richard Huntington, Rishi Desai, Beeker Northam, Rob Mortimer, Robert Hruzek, Roberta Rosenberg, Robyn McMaster, Roger von Oech, Rohit Bhargava, Ron Shevlin, Ryan Barrett, Ryan Karpeles, Ryan Rasmussen, Sam Huleatt, Sandy Renshaw, Scott Goodson, Scott Monty, Scott Townsend, Scott White, Sean Howard, Sean Scott, Seni Thomas, Seth Gaffney, Shama Hyder, Sheila Scarborough, Sheryl Steadman, Simon Payn, Sonia Simone, Spike Jones, Stanley Johnson, Stephen Collins, Stephen Cribbett, Stephen Landau, Stephen Smith, Steve Bannister, Steve Hardy, Steve Portigal, Steve Roesler, Steven Verbruggen, Steve Woodruff, Sue Edworthy, Susan Bird, Susan Gunelius, Susan Heywood, Tammy Lenski, Terrell Meek, Thomas Clifford, Thomas Knoll, Tiffany Kenyon, Tim Brunelle, Tim Buesing, Tim Connor, Tim Jackson, Tim Longhurst, Tim Mannveille, Tim Tyler, Timothy Johnson, Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Toby Bloomberg, Todd Andrlik, Troy Rutter, Troy Worman, Uwe Hook, Valeria Maltoni, Vandana Ahuja, Vanessa DiMauro, Veronique Rabuteau, Wayne Buckhanan, William Azaroff, Yves Van Landeghem

A really large conversation

A year ago a group of people wrote a book together. A group of about 100. A book about conversation. A book called the Age of Conversation

This year, Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton decided to try again and invited people in marketing to participate. This year there will be 275 writers.  And this year the theme of the book is, “Why don’t they get it?”

We got to choose what we wanted to write about, from a set of sections. I was going to write about “Conversation into Action” but because I can’t handle computers very well, I selected “Manifestos”. As a result, I will soon be writing a manifesto about conversation particularly as it relates to marketing in a book that is for people in marketing.

On one hand, that is amusing to me. After all, I’m not a marketer. In fact, I spend a tremendous amount of energy making sure that I am not about marketing religion. That has happened way too much which is why so many people have such a struggle with any paragraph which has “church”. “authentic”. “caring” and “God”. I look for stories and metaphors and examples and people which might help redeem redemption.

Oh wait. That’s marketing, isn’t it.

Let’s talk marketing.

That’s a really odd thing for me to talk about, right? I mean, I don’t write a business blog. I don’t even write a marketing blog. I write, well, a slice of my mind and heart blog. What would I have to say about marketing?

That’s a question that you’ll have to ask Drew McClellen and Gavin Heaton. Because I volunteered, I’m going to be one of the authors, one of the many authors of Age of Conversation 2.0.

1. Follow the link to see you you could be an author.

2. Follow the link to vote on the precise vague topic of the book.  The three choices are

• Marketing Manifesto
• Why Don’t People Get It?
• My Marketing Tragedy (and what I learned)

Why am I interested?

Because I am about telling stories to help people understand more clearly the Story that we are living in. Because Jesus spent a significant amount of time telling stories, and then was the subject of four books in a row. Because marketing is telling a story clearly enough and consistently enough and simply enough and complexly enough that people want to be part of that story.

Or at least that’s my story.

Sign up. Be an author. Define it your way.

(Be part of the story of Age of Conversation 2.0)