We rehearsed outside last night. With the forecast, however, we’ll probably be inside today. But I realized this morning, when you are on the day of the wedding, and it rains, most people don’t say, “Nevermind. We’ll just wait for a nicer day.” They get married.
I’m performing the wedding today (an interesting word, isn’t it? “performing”? But you understand.). The groom’s father is always supposed to be the most invisible part of the wedding. But not today.
It’s 9:18, the wedding is at 6, and I haven’t written the homily/message/words to the couple part. That’s always the last thing I write, but this one is tougher.
“Dear kids. This is hard. I keep thinking about all the things that I wish I would have said, that I wish I would have taught, that we should have done. I hope you do better than I have.”
That’s what I want to say, to confess somehow.
But I realized today that there are always more things we didn’t do that things we did. So maybe the most helpful thing to remember is that there are lots of things we did do, and maybe Andrew was serious when he hugged me yesterday and told me something (I’m not telling you, thank you very much), and maybe, just maybe, a wedding is a time to let go of “I wish” and to celebrate.
That might take a miracle. Of course, my Boss started doing miracles at weddings, so anything can happen.
A friend sent me a text yesterday, suggesting that I rhyme the rehearsal, that it would scare them. So I did, sort of.
Here are the rhymed vows I wrote yesterday for Andrew and Allie. We won’t use them, of course, but it wouldn’t be so awful if we did.
I’m andrew; you’re allie,
will you be my wife?
I’ll promise these things
for the rest of my life.
If we’re rich or we’re broke,
I’ll still laugh at your jokes
When you laugh, I’ll laugh harder
When you cry, I’ll stay close.
When you’re sick, I’ll still hug you,
(though I might wear a mask.)
When you’re well, I will notice,
and we’ll dance when you ask.
I love you, dear Andrew–
Do we know what that means?
But someday–in decades–
We’ll wake from this dream…
…We’ll review all these vows
and the downs and the ups
And we’ll know this was better
than a million World Cups.