Things do not make my heart feel loved.

Nancy and I were walking at the mall on Valentine’s day morning. Most things in the city were closed because of a snow storm the previous day, but we could get out and couldn’t miss out on the opportunity to have little traffic on the walking track which is Glenbrook Mall.

As we walked past the hallmark store, I looked in and saw a sign which talked about “making her heart feel loved”. I said I should get something and she said, “Not a stuffed animal.” And then she said, “Things don’t make my heart feel loved.”

What a wonderful gift she gave me with that statement. I knew it from observation, but she had never stated it that clearly. And we talked about how husbands and wives need to actually tell each other what warms their heart. At Valentine’s Day, our culture will give us all kinds of ideas about how to treat your sweetheart. In truth, maybe most wives don’t like chocolate or long-stem roses or jewelry or going out to dinner. Every one of those things costs money and so there is an industry with a vested interest in having us believe that those are the ways to express love, even if the price increases our debt load.

Maybe, just maybe, what is really wanted is conversation. or affection. or a cleaned up common space. or for once not arguing. or a made bed or a meal prepared together. or…..

But we will never know unless we are each willing to say, “Do you know how to tell me love me? By doing, saying, buying, not buying, helping….”

Give someone special the gift of describing your heart.

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One response to “Things do not make my heart feel loved.

  1. This reminds me of a favorite phrase we have in our family…”buying is not creating”. It’s nothing terribly profound, but just a reminder about what we feel is important for us.

    Interesting though in your post that you didn’t exclude buying. For your wife, it is not what makes her feel loved. But, your encouragement was not necessarily to abandon the material, but to listen and share what is important…what is in your heart and hers.