On going off probation

On Sunday I will be ordained. Practically, this means that I get to put Rev in front of my name, next to the Dr that I never put there either.

So what changes on Sunday? I go off probation.

You see, 4 years ago I was licensed as a minster. It meant that I could perform weddings and funerals and other parts of church life as a pastor. It also meant that I had some skills in ministry, but that I was still in a waiting period, waiting for me, for the leaders around me, for our congregation, for God to confirm that being a pastor is what I am, as much as what I do. Sunday, we recognize that confirmation.

It’s been a long, long time coming.

Some people get a telephone call from God. Others hear a
voice or see a vision. For these people there is a single simple announcement:
“you will be My witness.” This call becomes their passion. It is the cloud by
day and the fire by night that goes before them guiding them through school,
through seminary, through life.

Some people, on the other hand, walk through their lives
following God and slowly have the fog lift and realize: I have been His
witness. So it is with me.

I have had in my head and my mouth words of “I can’t” and
“I’m not” and “I couldn’t”. I can’t witness, I’ll never be an elder, I’m not
what a pastor is, everyone else is really doing this and I’m just pretending.
But I have slowly begun to realize in my brain what has been true in my heart
and my actions for awhile. I am a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I use many technologies and images. I work in many settings,
I miss many opportunities and waste much time. But God has called me to share
in Christ’s ministry of reconciliation, and my words and work must be rooted in
this: be reconciled to God. 

By “must” I used to mean “ought”. Increasingly, it is clear
to me that it isn’t “ought” as much as it is that I have no choice.

In His graciousness, God did not give me this call at the
beginning of my education or my career when I could have argued with it, for
that is how I am. I would have said to God, “If I must, but I’ll do it for all
the wrong reasons. I’ll minister because of obligation.”

Instead, He has led me along the road of life looking at
many options. I have passed them by, lingering slowly at times as I considered
them and then finally realizing that I am not what they represent. I have
looked closely at being a scholar, a professor, a senior administrator in
higher education, a pastor (for the wrong reasons), a broadcaster, a
videographer, a consultant. Always I finally had the sense that “No, as good as
that is, it isn’t fully me.” Eventually, yet always saying, “Lord, what do you
really have for me?” Until now. I have come to the point where I lift my eyes
and look back and look around and realize that there is nothing left. I am, and
have been for much longer than I have realized (though those around me have
known), a pastor.

I ache for souls. I can video or not, write or not, create
or not. I cannot, however, for any significant time not try to figure out how
to help people understand God. Because God keeps calling me and compelling me
to try.

technorati tags:ordination, reconciliation

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The job of a Levite

There are a bunch of things identified for levites to do. Carrying, helping, lifting–especially in the portable tabernacle days. Guarding, officialing and judging, singing–especially in the temple days. But the most intriguing to me is that every day, twice a day, morning and evening, the levites were to stand and praise and thank the Lord.

I Chronicles 16:4 talks about this: "He [David] appointed some of the Levites to minister before the ark of the LORD, to make petition, to give thanks, and to praise the LORD, the God of Israel."

In 2 Chronicles 31, after Hezikiah restores the temple, guess what: "Hezekiah assigned the priests and Levites to divisions—each of them according to their duties as priests or Levites—to offer burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, to minister, to give thanks and to sing praises at the gates of the LORD's dwelling."

I guess that being a levite includes praising and thanking God. It is part of what we must do, part of what we lead in doing.

lessons learned

It's Easter evening, there were several projects that were completed, and it's time to make some notes.

-It is possible to just decide that a project is done.

One video for this morning was a background for a song being performed live. I spent a bunch of time on it, and had some ideas on how to push it even further, which would have taken, um, I'm not sure how long since I'm not sure exactly what to do to create a veil to be torn. But then I realized that it was background. So I finished in the next 12 minutes. Sometimes done is best.

-One second clips of a key sign or image can cover a multitude of cuts.

-Live performance has tremendous power; so does video. However, they have different power and need different scripting and approaches to time. And you can cut 1:28 from a video and still keep the story going. And you can use black screen with time on it to represent the passing of time. And the dialogue can start under the dark slide to keep the audio content going.

-Spend the time on photoshop backgrounds.

-Test the rough cut on the equipment that you are going to use for projecting the actual project or you will be surprised by the sound or the projection or both.

-Adrenaline works, but don't live on it.

what we do

Last week, in a conversation on WBCL, I heard this statement:
"Paint the kingdom of God so beautifully that the congregation can inhabit it all week long." This was attributed to Walter Brueggman, "Finally comes the poet." Someday I will follow up on the reference, but today I want to preserve the thought. We are painters, prophets, builders. We work with the Holy Spirit to build clear pictures of the presence of God, of coming to the throne all together. We live our relationship as a planning team in such a way that it flows into the services.

I have long wondered about the chaos of our planning process, the delight and frustration of knowing what everyone's own script is, of knowing exactly when ___ will start to work on songs for the next week and ___ will have a joke and ___ will start to wander.

Here's what's funny: anyone in that group could fill in the blanks.

And that truth is exactly why as I have been writing this entry I understand a little more of why the services that grow out of that chaotic process end up with blessing from God more often than we deserve. We have created a community, a group which knows each other–aggravations and all–and still gathers every week and still contributes and still loves. And because it is our love for each other that is a measure of our love for God, we are finding that God blesses our often feeble efforts with baby Christians and growing passion.

Maybe we are painting the kingdom on Sunday a little better because we are loving the kingdom a little on Monday afternoon.

Job opening: professional God praiser

On the day that David had the ark brought back into Jerusalem, he gave a handful of people an interesting job description. In I Chronicles 16, Asaph and 9 other Levites were appointed to minister before the Lord, to make petition, to give thanks and to praise the Lord. At least part of their ministry was musical-to play harps, lyres, cymbals, and trumpets (the latter were played by two priests).

These were what we would call worship leaders. Their leadership was by example-they were to be fully present in their worship. Asaph, the chief, was particularly picked by God to be a leader in this area. He (and his family) wrote several songs (psalms) and were gifted in singing.

But to have that be your job–talking with God, leading people to God. Pretty cool. and pretty awesome. and pretty serious.

So who are the levites today?

levites and exploding heads

The Levites were about worshipping God. That is what their heart focus was to be. Their jobs around the temple (and around the tabernacle before the temple was built) were varied. Some were musicians and worship leaders and pray-ers–all the things that we think of when we think of worship. Others, however, hauled the pieces of the tabernacle from place to place. Others were the guards of the temple, standing shoulder to shoulder (I Chronicles 26).

This morning I was reading in 1 Chronicles at home, and then I walked into the building and talked with Ben, our maintenance engineer. This past Sunday, we had written a sketch which required a balloon, representing a person's head, to blow up. (see the sermon at www.firstmc.org - June 5). Ben created a way to accomplish this with maximum impact and minimum distraction.

Ben is a levite. Though he received no credit line in the bulletin, though he wasn't on the platform, though he was working with design and visual art rather than our usual worship arts (music), he helped people understand how our pride gets in the way of coming to God and to other people.

Levites are all over. Sometimes they are even lurking in the boiler room.