what we can see.

Someone wanted a picture of Nancy.

She works for the Fort Wayne Children’s Choir but if you look at the website, you can’t find her picture. At least not by name. You can’t see most of the other staff either. It’s a design choice, one which doesn’t upset her much.

I decided to help the situation. To the left you see a picture of Nancy at the Children’s Choir concert a couple of days ago. Though there are 1200 other people in the picture, I know exactly where she is.

This doesn’t help you at all. If you have been reading what I write, however, you have gotten glimpses of her. She shows up by direct reference. She shows up in the shaping of our children. She shows up in the thoughts you read here in ways that you could never see, but, just like I can see Nancy in the picture, she can see herself here.

You think this is a post about Nancy. It’s not. It’s about you.

The picture above may be the kind of picture of your self that you want floating around. Although you may or may not be leaving clear photographs of yourself, you are constantly painting a picture of yourself, providing details, adding shading. And the picture isn’t exactly what you think.

If it’s like mine, the image you are creating may be what you want to be, what you are afraid you are, what you wish you weren’t. I had someone say to me recently, “If I could, I would provide you with a mirror so you could truly see how others see you, and to give yourself more of a break.”

Stu was right.

We all are better and worse than we wish. We are more and less perfect. We are more and less interesting, more and less effective, more and less cool. We are, in short, human. And we are loved.

And if we spent less time on impression-management, we might have more time for other things.

It’s Tuesday. Give yourself a break.