following God: a small step

small steps.
one at a time.
not looking at potential outcomes.
not looking at potential catastrophes.
not looking at water under our feet.
not even trying to see the next step.

small breaths.
one at a time.

five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes seems like an immense number. But that year can only be lived one minute at a time. And each one is an act of faith. and each one is an act of love. and each one is an investment.

And we want formulas. And we want answers. And we want the right questions. And we want to know that it is worth it and that it matters and that it, well, that it is what to do.

And we never ever get to know the next step or the next breath or the next thought until it happens.

And when Job wanted answers and suffered without cursing God and was going through pain, God never ever ever told him why. All God said was, “were you here when I made all this?”

A singularly disatisfying answer in the abstract, but I’m pretty sure that when Job was hearing God actually asking him the question, he didn’t argue too much.

But we don’t often get to actually hear God. saying. our. name.

Or do we?

Not if we are expecting it to come with answers. other than…

small steps.
one at a time.
not looking at potential outcomes.
not looking at potential catastrophes.
not looking at what the step after this one might mean.

just small steps.
one at a time.

Technorati Tags: obedience faith god

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pass it on

Today Chris was talking about the importance of teaching, of taking what we know and passing it on. His point is affirming and challenging and frustrating to me. At times I hear my response to that point: “I don’t know much. No one needs what I know. I don’t have the time.” In fact, as Nancy and I were walking last night (keeping a purpose set in December), we were talking about our neighbor who has done quite well as an academic author and I said, “I don’t know anything that well.”

However, the more I thought, the more I realized that I better pass on the advice I gave someone recently. This person, who has children and loves them and is loved by them, is having a difficult time praying. Somehow the words aren’t tracking right. Somehow it feels like the intention isn’t quite right or that God must be questioning how the praying is happening or maybe God is saying, “I gave you everything you need, what are you waiting for?” This is a person near the edge.

So I said “Spend the next few days listening to how your children talk to you and your spouse. Listen to what is requested. Listen to the talking for talking sake. Listen to inflection and urgency and desire to be with you and hear you and love you. And then talk to God the same way.”

We get so stuck in formality, in pleasing, in rituals that we forget completely that we are talking to Dad. At least that’s what I read.

I’m praying that it helps this person. And maybe you.

Technorati Tags: prayer listening children

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On the road

path

Originally uploaded by jon.swanson

We spent the morning working on the garden this morning. More accurately, I helped a little and Nancy spent the morning working on the garden. We dug out violas and wild strawberries and some daisies and grass that had taken over the upper section of the perennial garden. Nancy was wanting to move some stones stepping stones to new places. She was planting and transplanting. We added some bags of soil.

While we were looking at the paths, I asked if there could be an additional stepping stone to the far side. I need a place to step when crossing the bed to be able to use the grass trimmer along the back of the bed. When she asked about arrangement, I said that I just needed a path and that she is the one that understands the design.
We took a break, did some shopping, and Nancy went back to work and I started reading. (This division of labor was a gift from her to me).

After she was done and everything was put away, I went looking with the camera. When I looked at the paths that Nancy had created, I discovered that this brick path was extended to exactly where I need to go. It is weathered, aesthetic, and very functional.

I’m thinking these days a lot about paths, about next steps, about how to get from where I am to where I need to be. I wonder exactly where God is taking us and how He is arranging the bricks. Sometimes it seems that what I need to do, what I am called to do, what I am obliged to do, is on the other side of the flower bed and I can’t get there without stepping on something, without doing damage. But after today, I’m thinking that if I acknowledge to God that I know what I’m supposed to do and then leave the arrangements to Him, maybe, just maybe when I look at the path, the next set of bricks will be in place.

So here’s to letting go of the bricklaying sometimes. Here’s to not being in the spiritual roadbuilding business and staying in the path following business.

scary generations

We were driving home tonight, Nancy and I, from a graduation party in Michigan. It was for Nancy’s niece, Leah. We had a nice time.

As we drove back, much later at night than we are usually out, I wanted to let Andrew know where we were. So I texted “Angola”, as we were approaching Angola, Indiana, about 45 minutes from home.

His one word reply? “Zaire”.

Then, when we got home, we found out that Andrew had walked into the house and told Hope that we wouldn’t be home for two week as we were going on safari.

You know, it is really scary when you find out that your children are growing up to be like you.

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What’s the point.

I’m curious. Why do we do this?

Okay, when I was in high school English, I got scolded for ‘indefinite pronoun reference”. And I haven’t stopped committing that sin. However, I will clear up the question of what do I mean by “this”.

Why do we find conversation via comment so compelling?

It hasn’t happened much here. However, there have been several conversations over at Rick Dugan’s blog which he has used to shape how he preaches.

For example, one day he put up his beginning thoughts on a passage of scripture which he would be using in two days and asked for comments. There were a dozen comments from five people in three countries and two continents.

This has happened several times.

What I would like to know is, why? Why do you contribute to comment conversations? What do you get out of giving? What has happened to your own thinking as you have been involved in thoughtful commenting?

Understand, I’m not talking about the “Nice job” comments. I’m talking about the kind of conversation that would happen, or could happen, if we were all sitting in the same geography drinking coffee?

What is happening to us?

{And Rick, if you are interested in pointing your commenters here, that would be interesting.}

technorati tags:comment, conversation

Blogged with Flock

me

Chris Brogan started a wonderful process yesterday, wonderful until it comes to yourself. He realized that many people reading a blog don’t have the writer’s backstory, the stuff of life that came before now. And so he wrote part of his own story and then invited everyone else in the world to do the same thing.  The hard part is writing about one’s self…until you remember that that’s what happens all the time in blogging.

So here is what Chris calls “A quick sketch biography of Jon Swanson”

Most people know me for odd ways of saying things

A few years ago, I went through the process of being licensed as a minister in my denomination. That meant that I could perform weddings and funerals. I had to answer about 30 questions about theology and then had to meet with a group of 4 people to talk about my answers. As we talked, they tried to figure out why I said things the way I did because the answers weren’t the stock answers from Bible college or seminary.

We realized that I think inductively. I read and live and talk and listen and from all that form answers to questions. (This is in contrast to having the answer and looking for the question). As a result of this approach to living, I often have people say, “I never thought of that.” Full disclosure compels me to acknowledge that just as often people say, “What?”

The people I associate with the most are people with broken places and great potential

That, of course, includes humanity, but I find that many of the people that walk through my office and walk through my life are people who are trying to figure out something inside that doesn’t quite work and they want to understand why. Throughout my 15 years in higher education (1985-2000) as a teacher and administrator and then 7 years as part of a church staff, I keep having these kinds of conversations. Which is really, really cool.

People who have influenced my life include…

My wife who shapes me daily, our children who have helped me understand how much God must love me given how much I love them, and most anyone who encourages me.

One challenge I took on and overcame was completing my doctoral dissertation

Because no one could finish it for me, no one was making me do it, no one understood why it was so important to examine texts in the way I was, almost no one has read it and yet it was something that I needed to do (If you want to read it, feel free. 1989, The University of Texas at Austin, “The Rhetoric of Evangelization: A Study of Pragmatic Constraints on Organizational Systems of Rhetoric” )

My early years, before you probably got to know me were compliant (the easy-going child), obedient (the good child), chubby (the non-athletic, didn’t make the 6th grade softball team), musical (organ, violin, tuba, guitar), anonymous, midwestern (Born in Minneapolis, grew up near Chicago), underachieving (high test scores, lower grades), and nice.

You might not know this, but I’m a geek. Oh, wait. Everyone knew that but me until a couple years ago. Nevermind that my first job, starting in 1974 when I was a junior in high school, was as a computer operator on an IBM 370/125-a mainframe. Nevermind that I ran sound starting in college. Nevermind that our first computer was a PC clone (Columbia) that we paid 2K for in 1984. Nevermind that my first video class in college used 1/2 B&W reels of tape.

I’m passionate about helping people emotionally understand the truth of God’s work. Lots of people know lots of facts about God. But I want to help people, including myself, have an emotional understanding, finding out if the facts really have traction for real people in real relationship.

In the next year or two, I hope to grow as much as I have in the last two years.

I’ve been stretching in huge ways, pushing into new media and community and understanding how digital and face-to-face connect, particularly in helping people become whole. Somehow I want the learning to continue and to translate from the theoretical. Thanks to Nancy and Chris and to the blogs on my blog roll from FMC and to Michael and Rob and Paul and Becky and Connie, I am understanding relationship in whole new ways.

Family Photo: Hope, Nancy and Jon (not pictured, Andrew)

technorati tags:autobiography, sketch, chrisbrogan, jonswanson, jon+swanson

Blogged with Flock

insert coffee

insert coffee

Originally uploaded by jon.swanson.

I realized yesterday that my keyboard is perfect for me. Who else can simply push a button and have coffee?

individual differences, different individuals

I was talking today with a young man charged with helping other people help other people. (I realize that description captures many of my conversations, but the vagueness is necessary.) We talked about a stylistic conflict that was happening, a couple people with different ways of approaching the process of helping. One likes one method, the other a different method. One gets passionate about things, the other is pretty flexible. No one is wrong, but resolution is pretty important.

So I kicked him out of my office for 4 minutes so I could think.

And then I typed up this list:

• Occupation
• Age (and generation)
• Spiritual maturity
• Spiritual knowledge
• Learning style
• Personality style
• Number of children
• Age of children
• Amount of teaching experience
• Sense of being right.

When he came back in, I handed him the list and asked him how much he cares about the people that he is working with. He cares a lot. And I told him to run through the categories for each person involved. And then I told him to run through the two helping methods and find out how well they line up with the two people.

From what I know of everyone involved, this young man will discover that the differences between the two approaches will correlate pretty closely with the other differences between the two people.

How often do we chose methodologies that match who we are and then assume that they will apply to everyone? I hate being told, “You’ll love this book, you’ll love this movie, you’ll love this person.” For me that merely reveals how little the recommender knows about me and how much they know about themselves.

Spend time reflecting on the people you are working with, that you are trying to help, that you are trying to recruit. Figure out how they may be different (and not worse) than you. Look at the things they love as ways to understand how they think and feel. Look at the progams that they choose to use as ways to understand how they process reality.

And then you can begin to think about how to teach and lead and encourage them.

——–

By the way, I think you will love this post from my friend Chris about figuring out what is important for you to do. And even if you don’t love it, it could still change your life. He wrote it yesterday and I’ve used it three times already.

My core functions?

• coaching people in being disciples
• creating media that tells stories of redemption and reconciliation
• caring for broken places in people

or at least that’s how it looks tonight.

Technorati Tags: caring, coaching, differences

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firmly planted

firmly planted

Originally uploaded by jon.swanson.

Given the choice of what to do on any given random nice day, I’d spend it inside. I’d play with words and ideas, I’d dig into storytelling, whether digital or analog. Right now, for example, I’m here.

In contrast, right now Nancy is out planting flowers in front of our house. Earlier, she was planting grass in our back yard. Or, more accurately, sedge.

When I think of which one of us is more grounded, that’s easy.

I’m pretty sure that what gives the two of us strength together is that we are not identical. Our strengths (and weaknesses) complement (and occasionally compliment) each other.

I’m thinking about this kind of support and interaction today because of a wonderful handbell concert last night. I will write more about that concert later, because it deserves its own post. However, what was clear was that what creates delightful and powerful music and marriage and ministry in not identicalness. It is common purpose and diversity of gifts, talents, interests, skills, handbells, mallets, and passions.

After all, if Nancy didn’t love the earth so much, what would I have to write about? And if I didn’t write, how would YOU see this part of her soul?

favorite character

Friday evening was the Drama Banquet for Snider High School. (I already posted a picture from that event.) On the invitation we were encouraged to dress as our favority movie actor or character.

That was a challenge for me, though I suppose as a parent, I could have opted out. (Most did. I haven’t grown up yet). Hope and her friend Ashley decided to go as Ashley and Mary-Kate. They had Andrew make T-shirts with the names printed on them.

I decided to get a T-shirt, too (black, long-sleeve). On the back is now printed my favorite character: story.

I realized that the core of a movie, book, play, life is the story. It gives the rest of the characters context. It gives the director a reason. It gives the audience something to order the experience.

Effects are helpful, of course. Costuming, make-up, acting…all are necessary and in a pinch can make even a weak story watch-able. In the case of a musical, great music and dancing can provide an excuse for a shallow story.

However, I’m still about story. Anyone who talks with me knows that storu shows up in how I explain almost everything.

And now, I have a shirt to prove it.

So do you have a story about your favorite character?

Technorati Tags: story

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