i am not a social media guru

A couple weeks back, Fort Wayne had its first Social Media Breakfast. Brad Ward and Howard Kang from Bluefuego came to town to talk about “what’s next with the social web.”

About 100 people showed up. Brad and Howard did a good job. They even helped me understand a couple things.

I don’t say that to be arrogant. It’s just that I have tried lots of things and read lots of things and talked with lots of people involved in social media. In fact, I’ve realized that I talk regularly with some of the brightest and most experienced people in social media (including some social media gurus).

When the floor was opened for conversation, the first guy to speak didn’t have a question. He pitched the value of networking, talked about how much leverage social media people can have by getting involved in networking groups, and offered his business card. After that, people had real questions. I realized that I knew most of the answers, had played with most of the social networking platforms being identified. I wanted to say, “here’s why you would use that. Here’s what you could say that way. Don’t go there.”

However.

Even as I was thinking through those things, I thought, “Why do I really want to get into those conversations?”

Like many people who have used social media tools, I have built experience that could be helpful to other people. I have ideas of what may work and not work for a variety of organizations. In fact, I could probably help nonprofits in particular. In fact, I have one such group asking me to be part of a marketing committee.

But I am not a social media guru.

I’m not talking about the self-identified kind, the person who is selling themselves by proclaiming their expertise while not using technology. No, I’m talking about people who have made a discipline of knowing how to use social media effectively regardless of the message. I love them. I read them. But I’m not one of them.

When it comes to social media, I’m a social media chaplain. When I’m doing what I love to do, social media is a tool, not a subject. It’s the method, not the goal.

People. God. Confusion. Clarification. That’s what I’m about.

Or what I ought to be about.

Trouble is, it’s fun to be a guru. It’s fun to get caught up in the conversations about the means of communication. And I do like communication conversations. I love saying, “what if you tried that. If you shot it this way, and then said this…” You can help people be effective that way. You can impress people that way.

You can get distracted that way.

This is where the last sentence goes, the catchy phrasing that ties the pieces together. But there isn’t one yet. Social media the method and social media the goal are easy to confuse. And depending on your calling, there isn’t one right order.

I still working to remember mine.

Of course, so are you.

do something concrete.

Yesterday a friend said to me,

“I’m busy. I’m gone all day and it takes an hour each way to get to work. But I’d like to do something that’s ministry.”

Ministry is a church word. It means that a person wants to do something around church, related to church. It usually means being a Sunday school teacher or being an usher or shoveling the driveway or being on a committee.

I don’t like that meaning. I like to push people out of the building, help them work in lives.

I said, “What delights you? What do you love to do?”

“Sleep,” my friend said, smiling. She’s got good reason. She works hard and has much on her heart.

“If we ever start a nap ministry, I’ll call you,” I said. “Do you like to send cards?”

“I used to.”

“Send cards to two people this week and then ask me the question again next week.”

We agreed on two names of people who could benefit from her touch and I walked away.

In the past I would have said, “let me think about it and get back to you.” In the past I would have said, “let’s look at a brochure.” In the past I would have taken the burden of involvement on my shoulders.

But the most important thing for her to do is to actually do something. This week. That will help someone else. In her timeframe.

I think that having written about Switch the day before helped. Scripting the critical moves in this case meant helping my friend move from a vague “I want to do something” to “here’s what I can do this week.”

Make it clear. Make it simple. Make it doable.

Then help someone do something.

—-

Also see Put it on the list

Script the critical moves

We’re a month into 2010 and we’re drowning.

We had wonderful things we wanted to accomplish, goals we set, 3 words we listed. And now, five weeks later, we’re wondering what happened.

• Wanting change is easy.
• Changing is hard.
• Listing options for change is easy.
• Picking one is hard.
• Getting lost in the details of a solution is easy.
• Picking just one thing to do that will make a difference is hard.

Chip Heath and Dan Heath recognize just how hard that is. In the third chapter of Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, they tell us that having too many options paralyzes us into continuing with how we do things already. (I’m blogging through conversations about this book. Here’s my post on chapter two: finding bright spots.)

The solution?

In this chapter, it’s to script the critical moves. Because options and ambiguity confuse people, the Heaths say, if you want to help people change, clearly identify what you want people to do.

They look at research among doctors, grocery stores, abusive parents, a Brazilian railroad, and kids in a small town in South Dakota.  Throughout those stories, they show us that “clarity dissolves resistance.”

Over and over we ask people to change, we tell people to change, we encourage people to change, but we don’t carefully identify a simple clear step to change. And our brains get confused.

Be healthy.

Develop networks.

Love God.

And then when people ask how, when we ask ourselves how, we have huge lists.

Eat better. (More coffee, less coffee,  more carbs, no carbs, more meat, less meat, more fats, less fats, the right kind of fats). Drink more water. Exercise. (how many times a day? What muscle groups? What are muscle groups? How far? How fast? Who is right?).

No wonder so many of us give up in frustration.

I’m working on the health thing this year as part of my 3 words. I wanted something simple to start.

So one of my approaches this year is to drink three extra glasses of water. Some days I even line them up on my desk.

Three glasses.

I’ve got a couple of other projects I’m working on now, projects that involve helping people to change. This concept, “scripting the critical moves”, is changing how I’m thinking about them. It demands way more reflection and conversation and clarification and time.

But what if it works?

—-

Disclaimer:

Above and following is an affiliate link for the book. If you order it, I’ll get a little money (but it won’t cost you extra.)  Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard.

I also need to tell you that the copy I have is an advance copy I was sent because I requested it. I requested it because I was a fan of their previous book, Made to Stick. However, I will be buying my own copy when the book comes out in February. (And a handful of copies for other people.)

fans and disciples

Jesus feeds about 15,000 people. He uses 5 kaiser rolls and 2 small fish. He ends up with leftovers.

For the people present, it was amazing. They were stuffed. They were thrilled. They decided that he must be The One. They decided to make him king.

They were fans.

Jesus knew how to respond. He sent his disciples to the boat, to the lake, to the other side. And he headed for the hills. He headed for some solitude.

When it was dark and the crowd was asleep and his disciples were in the middle of the lake, he walked out to them. They got to the other side, near home.

In the morning, the crowd realized that Jesus wasn’t there, that they weren’t getting breakfast. They went home, too. And they discovered Jesus.

“When did you get here?” they said.

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. ²⁷Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

And then Jesus started to talk about living bread. In the next few hours, in a couple places, he talked about manna and bread and blood. He talked about what he really came to do.

And the crowd thins out. Some say, “We knew your family. You aren’t so big.” Some say, “You are upsetting what we’ve always been taught.” Some just can’t handle the fact that he’s calling on them to do something, to believe differently, to follow him.

John says,

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

Jesus had fans and Jesus had disciples.

• The fans were there to be entertained and fed.
• The disciples were there to become like Jesus.
• The fans were there because they loved when his worldview agreed with theirs.
• The disciples were there because they loved his worldview.
• The fans were there because other fans were there.
• The disciples were there because they had started when no one else was around.
• The fans were an audience.
• The disciples were the backstage crew.
• Fans say, “do that again.”
• Disciples say, “teach me to do that.”
• Fans say, “That’s dumb.”
• Disciples say, “They’ll probably kill us, too, but let’s go with him.”
• Fans come and go as convenient
• Disciples live with you.

And of the two?

Disciples change the world; fans just change their rss feeds.

—

For more on the story, “after it goes great” and “gifts“

put it on the list.

I work from both sides of my brain. I can move from choosing shots for a short video to being asked about budget allocations to being asked about moving a person from one office to another. I love the variety, figuring out how to tell a story and figuring out how to get the network connection working in the new space.

I’m finding, however, that the shifts are harder. I’m needing to stop and let my brain move from one side to the other.

Part of what is helping these days is working to get major projects that must get done on a list. And must-get-done-today items. And stuff that I’m told during those moments of brain-shifting.

I’m using a moleskine notebook with squares. It’s expensive (though I used a coupon) which makes me take it seriously. It has little squares which allows me to use it how I want.

Here are some list thoughts today.

1. Be willing to turn the page and start a new list. Sometimes the old list just needs to be retired.

2. Put really simple things on the list (like “make coffee”). Get a victory.

3. Put projects that people hand you during the day on the list so you can cross them off when you get it done. (If you don’t, you’ll get to the end of the day and think, “What, exactly, did I do today?”.)

4. If you have three words for the year, put something from them on your list.

5. Some days do what  Becky says. Limit yourself to six items on the list. It will feel less intimidating.

6. If there is one project that has to get done, make that be the ONLY item on a blank page in your book. Really.

So, what am I missing? What works for you?

—

By the way, I know it’s not how David Allen says to do it. I’m sorry.

Becky McCray changed my life

(Disclosure: Yesterday was Becky’s birthday. So this is a birthday post. Except I got the date wrong. And I’m entering this post to try to win a free trip to SOBcon2010. Of course, I’m already going. And the flight won’t help. But still. The hotel would be nice. And notice, the post isn’t being judged, so I could write whatever tripe I wanted. But when talking about Becky, who wants to write tripe?)

Becky lives in Oklahoma.

I’ve driven through Oklahoma a few times. Some when I was little, before Becky was born. Some when Nancy and I were commuting between Austin and the north, while Becky was in middle school.

It is likely we never met face-to-face.

I actually met Becky online in 2006. I heard about a small business podcast she was doing, helped by Chris Brogan. I listened to an episode while Nancy and I were doing a garage sale. There was a comment line. I called and left an extended comment. Becky included it in the show and I became a regular contributor.

Becky pushed me to consider how I could have something to say outside my higher education and church circles. It led me to writing at smallbizsurvival.com.

But so far, our story is about online stuff. And, in order to enter this in the drawing, there has to be more. Somehow, because the theme of SOBcon2010 is “Where the virtual meets the concrete”, we have to consider some way in which the online, digital, virtual world actually connects to what I really do, how I really live. And because you can’t find the Great Big Small Business Show any more, unless there has been some actual change somewhere concrete, all of what I’ve been talking about is gone, too.

Becky McCray made me go to SOBcon 2008 (and 2009).

Nevermind how. She did. I would not have gone if it weren’t for Becky.

• Which means that I wouldn’t have conversed face-to-face with Liz and Joanna and Amy and Robert and Cheryl and Chris and Thomas and Paul and Shashi and Amber and Glenda and Deb and others. Those conversations have changed how I write in every setting, have made me think carefully about how I talk about God, church, relationship, people.
• And Nancy and I wouldn’t have spent a delightful April morning having coffee with Liz.
• And I wouldn’t try so hard to write as clearly as I can at 300wordsaday. com, a blog which has found its way into classes I teach face-to-face and even into a session of a class Robert teaches in Houston. Some people in a church in Houston know a bit more about prayer because of Becky.
• And Nancy and I would not have this desire to sit on a ranch in Oklahoma with Joe and Becky and eat barbecue and talk about cattle.
• And I go to our car repair shop in Grabill and value the service I get in this small town shop and look for ways to tell those stories at smallbizsurvival and in conversations around church because my friend Becky cares so much about small towns and encourages storytelling.

Becky has done this by being the kind of friend who says, “why couldn’t you do that?” and “I don’t understand” and “what if you did this and this and this?” and “you have green stuff in your teeth.” (Though she also knows that the green stuff couldn’t be vegetables.) She’s also the kind of friend that laughs at you when you put sugar in carbonated water at a SOBcon table and it explodes, and then who runs to get paper towel to clean it up.

Happy birthday, Becky. See you in Chicago in April. Thanks for being my friend.

–

For more from Becky, here’s our 5 questions conversation.

And here’s a link to the Great Big Small Business Show archives.

age before beauty

I work in a church building. We have Sunday school classes for adults.

When I started two years ago, there was a folder that listed them all by class title. It told the name of the class, the age bracket, the location, the teacher’s name, and a brief explanation of the group written by the group.

I made it pretty. I turned it into a trifold, put a catchy title on the front, put a picture on the back. I edited the copy a bit, but didn’t want to mess with what people said. All the classes are interested in helping people grow and learn and build relationships. Most of the classes don’t talk about what makes them demographically and microculturally distinct.

It was a nice, generic piece.

And I put the name of the class in bold type.

Yesterday while I was pouring dirt on a table in the middle of the hallway, a friend said, “I was talking to a couple people last night. Someone was visiting last week. The people trying to help the guest figure out what class to go to couldn’t find anything that told about the classes. They found a list of the classes on a map, but nothing about them.”

As I drove to work today, ready to address that problem with information for our welcome center people (the people that had been trying to help). I thought about my pretty brochure, the one that had been on the counter, right where they were. The piece that no one saw.

This afternoon, I took the pretty brochure and turned it into a two page, front and back piece that in 20 point type says “9:00am” on one side and “10:15 am” on the other. Then, in 18 point type I list the age bracket/life stage for each class. And then, in 12 point, I list the rest of the information.

It’s not pretty design for the people in the classes. There are no pictures. There is no cute title.

But that brochure didn’t work.

Now it’s functional design for people trying to help new people find a starting point.

Age before beauty. It’s the polite thing to do.

—

For more on communicating, here’s my teaching and learning page.

For more on communicating in churches, here’s my free ebook called Unchurchy: reflections on communication and church

But doing stuff takes time away

My volume of writing here has dropped off. I am writing fewer posts and most of them come early in the week.

Part of me gets really annoyed by that. I want to be a consistent blogger. I want to build traffic. I want to be helpful to people, to think and reflect on things that matter.

Another part of me wants to slap that first part of me.

• I am still writing five days a week at 300wordsaday.com.
• I am producing videos almost every week for my day job.
• I am having delightfully significant  and consistent conversations with a handful of people around me.
• I have, in each of the past two weeks, spent 3 hours each writing about 90 seconds of copy. (This in in contrast to writing 300 words posts in 30 minutes or less.)
• I’m working with a bunch of wonderful people on a $1,276,144.44 capital campaign (the decimal points matter).
• I spent two days out of town with Nancy.
• I’m re-revising a piece of prose, and finding that the time is forcing me to rethink and revise.

I’m discovering that I have limited amounts of creativity, of revision, of troubleshooting, of words.And I’m discovering that if I pour energy into effective communication, it takes more time than I thought.

Today Amber Naslund said, “I’d so much rather we go out and DO stuff and talk about it than post everyone else’s “motivational” quotes. /cynicism.” I agree with her, mostly. (I don’t think she’s being cynical.) The challenge of going out and doing stuff is that we may not have enough words left when we come back to talk about it.

Because sometimes, the out there doesn’t leave much energy for in here.

Or maybe I’m just being lazy or not wanting to enough.

Maybe I just need a good motivational statement.

–

For more on Amber, here’s is our 5 Questions conversation.

sitting by the fire

“Is that a real fire?”

“No, it’s a gas log”

“It’s pretty realistic, though”

Nancy and I are sitting on a sofa, in front of a fire, at a state park inn in northern Indiana. I just finished writing a post over at 300wordsaday.com. It will go up in the morning. Nancy is journalling. We are enjoying the fire. And being together.

Two people just walked out, leaving for the evening. They didn’t see us. They just talked about the fire.

It is a real fire. There is real warmth. It isn’t a wood fire, but it is a real fire.

These are real words. There is real truth. They aren’t “pen and ink and paper” words” but they are real words.

I’m writing, in part, to real friends. There is real relationship. They aren’t “spend a lot of time in the same geography” friends, but they are really change my life friends.

Nancy and I are enjoying being together. We aren’t playing table games or watching a movie or whatever it is you are supposed to do to prove that you are comfortably and caringly married after nearly 27 years. But it is a real marriage, not just realistic.

But the two people deciding quickly about the reality of the fire wouldn’t know any of this.

That’s fine.

I do.

Stop counting minutes

Nancy and I walk at the mall. I look at signs. (I look at Nancy, too, but don’t tell her.)

The other night, I saw this one and thought, “I’d love over-age protection.”

And then I read closer. Apparently, if I stop counting the minutes and just enjoy the phone, I’ll be protected from overage.

I think there’s probably some merit in that thought. When I spend inordinate amounts of time trying to save minutes, I end up just feeling more exhausted, older. On the other hand, when I relax and live, listening in conversations, concentrating, being attuned…wow, I feel younger just thinking about it.

Maybe that’s why Jesus encouraged his followers to become like little children. Not childish, mind you, just curious, engaged.

Not counting minutes.